The Garlic Juice

I am the current world record holder for the youngest Martell brandy drinker. When I was 12, I drank a MUG of brandy (on the rocks) when my parents were out. I had my eyes on that big green bottle of brandy in that cupboard since I was able to walk. When you are young and short, anything high up looks good. I guess thats why I enjoy climbing trees also. These days, most kid's 'wish list' consists of Ipods and Playstations. Mine was smoking and brandy. I guess I was pretty much inspired by the beer and cigarettes commercials ... the ones where you have the ladies in bikinis running on dreamy-like beaches. I wondered which genius came up with those ads to try and convince the general public that drinking and smoking gives you the same high as wearing bikinis ...


So finally the day came when I was alone in the house, I poured myself the prized brandy and got drunk for the next three days. Dumb right? The brandy must have burnt my brains so badly that many years later, I decided to try juicing garlic and drink it!

Same settings ... alone in the house, this time inspired by Dr. Andrew Weil's 8 Weeks To Optimum Health. "Garlic is good for you." Ya ... but he didn't say how much??!! It must have been a brave but stupid decision. 8 cloves of garlic juice(plus celery and green pepper) is enough to set off a nuclear bomb explosion in your stomach. The moment you gulp it down, you feel like dying! You want to dig your eyes out and pull off your intestines to skip with it. It tasted like petroleum with vingear. I almost collapse after drinking it, I had to crawl to the sofa and lay flat for half an hour before regaining consciousness. It's like Superman swallowing Kryptonite ... garlic immobilises all living cells in your body, including the malfunctioned brain that conceived the idea of drinking garlic juice.

Compared to brandy, garlic is 100 times more lethal, that's why you use it to ward off vampires. When you take that much garlic juice, cockroaches will take a vacation from your house 'cos your breath can be detected across the rubbish dump. Your car will stink so badly that the air purifier will have a heart attack. And for those of you who are brave enough to try, I still have a pack left, washed and cleaned nicely for overnight delivery.