The Blind Date

The other day a student asked me the meaning of a blind date. I told him it's when the person you have dated shows up with a white walking stick.

Blind date? Is there a reason why we have to insult the visually handicapped when two unknown persons are trying to have a good time? Why not call it Deaf date or a Lame date? And what if two blind personnel are really trying to set up a romantic meeting with each other? What should we call it, a Total Darkness Date? Then when the two blind persons finally meet for the first time ... " You know, everybody is looking at us, calling us names and making fun of our handicap. I cannot stand it anymore, I need professional counselling and a listening ear. "

Blind dates are interesting, although I never had one. Most of the time the people dating tend to over prepare themselves. Either they sprayed the entire bottle of perfume or they gel up the hair so much you need liquid nitrogen to wash it off. And I think while waiting for the other party to show up, either one has to be praying really hard.

There's probably more than 10 kinds of emotions going through in that moment for the participants. Anxiety, excitement, ecstasy, fear, disappointment, stupidity, insanity, hallucination, illusion and paralysis. So it is a good idea to have a paramedic on standby in case one of them goes into a shock. If he turns out according to your expectations, then you'll have a great time. If he shows up looking like a pig .... then you just graciously turn off your mobile phone and pretend you are the contractor examining the ceiling and slowly make the exit. But if she shows up really a stunner, then you better wipe off your drool before waving at her.

Actually I think it will really be fun just to stand around and see how people try to identify one another. You think she is the one, but she is not looking at your direction. You could be smiling like an idiot to strangers whom you think could be the one. Then you realise you are talking to yourself in the head and at the same time trying to act cool. Is she the one? She cannot be that fat right, cos her voice sounded quite slim. Is that pimple face guy the one, OMG, it can't be, he said he looked like Brat Pitt with a six pack!!! Maybe he said he looked like Brat Pitt from the back and he carries a six pack Heineken around ..

It is difficult to describe yourself accurately when it comes to blind dating. Not that you want to be dishonest, but you don't really want to frighten the other person off before even meeting up. So you use words that are quite ambiguous .... "I am kind of studious looking", then the guy shows up like a nerd. "I am actually very plain looking and not very tall", then she shows up like one of the dwarfs and looks like the Prime Minister's wife ...

(I didn't say which Prime Minister arh .... )