The Tap

(For legal reasons, I shall not mention the place I patronise last night.)

Went to the men's room after a meal and noticed all the taps are sensor controlled. No more twist on and twist off or the spring loaded push down and up taps. This is how far we have arrived technologically, you don't need to use your hands and strength anymore. Just point and you will get water.

So I thought. This place is so 5 star-ed that they have toilet attendants waving at the sensor so that you get water flowing the moment you finish peeing! While I am overwhelmed by the level of customer service, I am also impressed by the stupidity and insanity of the hotel's Board of Directors. Labour from Bangladesh or India may be cheap, but you don't have to squander away human beings this way .. Might as well put him in the bowling alley lining up pins at the lanes!

The idea of the sensor is to facilitate the use and flow of water. Controlled amount of water, thats what they want, in case anyone of us decides it's a good time to refill our fish tank after a meal at the restaurant, and they can prevent us from taking too much of their water. But you will never know, Singaporeans are known to lose their sense of judgement and morality when it comes to things that are given free.

Then again, don't we all at times hate that sensor operated taps? You are standing there trying to get some water. First of all, you have to figure out how to operate the tap. So you stand there and stare. Do I push it, touch it, talk to it or strangle it? Secondly you have to find out where they camouflaged that idiotic sensor. Some manufacturers think we enjoy playing hide and seek in the toilet. You are looking from the side, looking from under and all over and after a while steam starts coming out of your head !!!

ok, so you finally know where the sensor is hiding. Then you have to wave at it. 'Hello, this is my hands, can I have some water please?' Sensor identifies that its a real pair of hands, not some wax fake hands, gives the go ahead. You start rubbing both hands with the water coming out and taking your own sweet time cos you thought this bugger is 'turned on' by your hands. You reach for the soap dispenser and then revisit the same tap because you thought he must have some impression and data of your hands earlier ... But no, he doesn't. He refuse to give you some more water. But its the same pair of hands you idiot!!? Maybe he had a rough day. Then now you have to try and please the tap. You play peek-a-boo with him. You put your hands together in front of the sensor and then off. Put together again, then off. I got to do it a few times till he's satisfied, then I get some water flowing again and complete my hand washing excursion.

I think that's why they need the toilet attendant there to solve all these challenges. This man has joined the brotherhood of taps. His hands are given free access to all taps and he has qualified for the frequent visitor's pass, no questions asked always. One wave and the water is all yours.