The Digger

Yesterday was at the hawker centre for my Executive set lunch, which is a bowl of Yong Tau Foo and a cup of kopi-o. There are fifty plus stalls in this hawker centre and I only patronise less than five of them for the last six years. But other than this hawker centre, I rarely eat anywhere else. I am so loyal to them that they wanted to include me in their Annual Dinner and Dance guest list, which is the Seven Month Ghost Festival celebration ..

Anyway I was waiting for the food when this lady asked to share the table. This woman looks like someone in her forties, is quite elegantly dressed and probably working in a office nearby. As we were waiting, a sudden whiff of pungent sambal chilli swept through the entire hawker centre. Like a sarin attack, most got choked by the spice power and either coughed or sneezed. The lady sharing the table was no exception. She sneezed so loudly that I thought the table was going to be blown away. The good news was that she had a tissue paper covering her nose. But the bad news was, she blew her nose onto the tissue paper, then later examine what she blew out! Yucks! I was very tempted to ask her what she was expecting to find on that tissue paper! And I realise there are many who enjoy looking at what they blow out from the nose. Next time see if you do that also. If you have that strange habit, you are probably one of those whackos who sits on the toilet bowl and stands up at intervals to look at what you have contributed.

But the lady continued to ruin my appetite by using her pinky to dig her nose. I was hoping she would get a heart attack so I could freeze her and display this specimen in the museum of bad manners. Sigh .... despite all the good things said about this country, good economic growth, good government, good living environment etc, we still have little pockets of un-cultured and uncouth people around. But what to do, it's a hawker centre what ...

The Wonder Woman

My favourite tool in the house has to be the tv remote control. It is also my only piece of gym equipment where I do my finger aerobics. I don't do any other form of physical exercise other than switching channels while slouching on the sofa.

So the other day I was busy scanning the six or seven channels back and forth (which miraculously did not hypnotise me to sleep) when I chance upon the re-run of a classic series,Wonder Woman. This is one of the very few shows on tv that had an impact on my life as a kid, where I learn from very young that women do look good in bikinis and industrial rubber boots.

The thing about watching these super heros as a kid is that you tend to believe everything they do without questioning. Like she goes from an ordinary civilian walking down the street with absolutely nothing to do, and then two seconds later with a ballerina spin, she becomes the Wonder babe in skin tight underwear, pointed steel bras and a tiara on her head. In the past, I would really enjoy watching Wonder Woman net those villians, bend the rifle with one hand or shield bullets with her power hand-guard ... nowadays I just look out for the costume change.

Wonder Woman and friends belong to the same club for Super Heroes called the Hall of Justice. Members include Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern and few others. Not sure why Spiderman was not invited to join this club then, I guess the rest probably thought it's quite freaky to have webs coming out of your hand, would scare the children you know .. The thing I notice about these Super Heroes, including the recent Incredibles, is that they like to wear their underwear on the outside. The leotard (their uniform) is expected to help in the aerodynamics, that I can understand, especially when flying faster than the plane. The cape is for aesthetic purposes only, like a peacock exhibiting its hairy ass.

But the underwear on the outside?? To me its another piece of inconvenience clothing. Other than blocking any unexpected bulge for the male superheroes, I don't see any need for it. And when it comes to peeing, it's going to be more challenging than stopping the speeding bullet. But then again, they are superheroes, they have everything super, super-power, super-brain, super-eyesight, super-hearing, super-coffee and super-bladder.. so it may not be much of a problem somehow.