The Yellow Card

I have been watching lots of the World Cup lately. Other than tennis, sailing, volleyball, beach volleyball, car racing, bowling and beach babe volleyball, soccer has to be my favourite sport. I like watching 24 grown up men chasing after a leather ball and hearing two hundred thousand spectators cheering them on.

The one thing that differentiates soccer from the rest is the use of the yellow card. Everytime I see the referee flashing the yellow card at the player, it reminds me of a father lecturing a child ... which might be the case, because the referee is usually balding and older, and the player, young with a funky haircut. And one of the refereeing rules is, you have to show the card in his face. The player at fault can be faking injury and rolling over the ground, you will see the referee standing patiently waiting for the dude to complete his act .. and when the player is done with the faking, the referee will get him to stand up and then nar! "SEE THIS CARD!"

Getting the yellow card on the football field is like Superman getting cryptonite, it paralyses you for that moment. But it's only here that you will see genetically adult muscular men afraid of the colour yellow. Yellow in the Chinese vocabulary has sexual inferences, yellow in the Western culture usually means sunshine, but yellow in the soccer vocab means you enjoy breaking other people's legs and they are not going to allow you to run after the leather ball with the other men if you should continue the bone cracking exercise.

I think the principle behind the yellow card is quite useful in life. What if you are allowed to use the yellow card in a relationship? If your boyfriend continues to use foul language or hurries you when you are shopping, why not use the yellow card? " Sorry honey, I have to book you this time ... see the camera up there? There's evidence you were pushing me and wrestling me away from the clothing department. One more time and I will be flashing both the Yellow and Red Card ... and you will be out of this game!"