An Insider Story: The Zidane's Headbutt

Zidane Headbutt : " Boss, I have been thinking about my retirement ... what should I do ... ? "

Domenech : " I am not too sure myself ... you can play professional baseball like Michael Jordan .. "

Ribery : " Nah ... he flopped and had to return to basketball. Why not try wrestling? We already know how to fake injuries and fall without hurting ourselves ...

Zidane Headbutt : "Good idea. But I wish I had a scar like yours .. makes wrestling more real .. "
















Zidane Headbutt " You know, I used to be a streetfighter before playing football and I can fight like Bruce Lee!!! "

Ribery : " Cool! We can be partners if you want. "

Zidane Headbutt : " Deal! "




Domenech : " You sure you want to be a professional wrestler? "

Zidane Headbutt : " No choice boss ... have not been saving much the last few years. I still have two school going kids to feed .. "

Domenech : " Me too ... I have spend all my money on hair dyes and my hair is still white .. "

Zidane Headbutt : " ya ... I can understand boss. That's why I shaved my head to cut cost. I hope wrestling is the right choice. I am sure Ribery will help me get a scar for a start. "




Zidane Headbutt " Thank you all for supporting my decision ... you guys are so sweet. "



Domenech " Well, good luck the both of you ..... muuuuuack!!! "




Trezeguet : " I wanna be a wrestler too .... "

Henry : " Hush hush ... you'll get your chance when you turn 34 ... "




Journalist : " Are you sure you want to turn pro wrestling? Look at your skinny head!?? "

Zidane Headbutt : " oh my god, it is kindda small ... not good ... especially if I want to do a head butt .. "


Meanwhile at the Elysee Palace ..











President Chirac : " I used to be this huge fat sumo wrestler before I became President .. "

Zidane Headbutt " Are you sure? Which slimming centre did you go to after that?"



President Chirac : " DON'T try and be funny with me, I can pin you down in front of the cameras if I want to ... "




Zidane Headbutt : " ya right .. Sumo my ass .. I was President before I became a footballer .. "

President Chirac : " hey! ..... hey! "




Referee : " What's wrong with you man? I heard you want to be a wrestler?? "

Zidane Headbutt : " er ... ya ... Who told you that? "

Referee : " The bookies. They say you may try one or two stunts tonight and see whether the fans like it or not .. " The odds are really good. $1200 to $1. I have placed some bets myself ... hehehe ... The bookies asked me to give you a cheque ... "

Zidane Headbutt : " What??!!! " Are you trying to bribe me? "

Referee: " Later I am going to give you a red packet with the cheque inside. I will pretend to give you a red card .... nobody can tell the difference from that far, ok? "

Zidane Headbutt : " Are you sure the cameras can't see? "

Referee : " No. I will distract everyone, including the linesmen."




Referee : "Just like that. See? Nobody knows there's a cheque inside."




Zidane Headbutt : " I cannot take the money, it's wrong .. "

Referee : " No..no..no, you have to take it, the bookies will splash paint outside my house and make my life difficult if you don't accept it .... go along with the acting you stupid ... just take it as good luck for your new career ... like a Chinese Hong Bao. "

Meanwhile at the Grand Stand ...


" Listen you old fool, as the Chairman of The Bookies Corp, I am taking 90%, you get it???!!! "




Blatter : " yo Annan, I heard you donating your winnings to the Children's Not Hungry Fund ... "
Annan : " Nooooooooo ... I need a new shaver and toner. "




" You can do it Zidane. Just focus!!! "

Zidane Headbutt : " Geez .... my biceps are as skinny as my head .. must psych myself up. This is my chance to change career. I can do it, yeah I can do it, I can do it! "




Zidane Headbutt : " AHHHHHHH, I wanna slam some ass!!!"




Barthez : " Zidane! Pull up your shorts this way! You need to look like you are wearing leotards for wrestling !!! WTH ... "




Cannavaro: " I heard you will be trying some wrestling tonight. Can do me a favour? That Materazzi has been a eye sore for many of us ... think you can fix him for us? "

Zidane Headbutt : " Sure. But let me do some warm up ... I need to dance around first .. "






" Everyone, night fever night fever .. "



" Yo Fabio ... Bangla dance ... Italian style! "



" one step forward and one step back .. "



"eh ziggy, check out this breakdance move .. "



Ribery : " Boss, lets do the cha cha one last time ... "


Meanwhile, at the Grand Stand ...


President Chirac : " You know, I was a Sumo wrestler before I became President .. "




Barthez to Buffon : "Mazzi will go down in 5 seconds. And cover your mouths when you call up the bookies, there are lipreaders up there. "




" Mazzi will go down in 5. Spread the word around. Cover your face ... there are lipreaders up there. Pretend we are talking about something else ... "




" psss ... I heard Zidane is coming for you. He is trying his wrestling gig tonight!"

Materazzi : " Oh yeah, YOU think I am scared!!??? I am waiting for you right here!!!"



" You plunge in for his waist and push him over in 2 seconds, then you elbow drop and head lock him for 3 counts and you are done, you understand?!!! Are you ready Ziggy??? "

Zidane Headbutt : " I am ready. "



Henry : " Remember to mention my name to the WWF after tonight bro. "




Materazzi : " COME and get me you son of a *!@*! "



Zidane Headbutt : "massage my head first .. "



Materazzi : " OH SHIIIIIT!!! HE IS REALLY COMING FOR ME!!! "







"Well done Ziggy .. "



" YEAH!!! Slam Mazzi!!! Slam Mazzi !!!



Materazzi : " oh **!@, ouch ouch .... bloody mother @**!!!
ouch ... oh oh .. *@#! that Ziggy ... "



" oh man ... will I be next? "



"oh man, I just went out with his wife last night ... "




" oh mighty crystal ball, who will be next? "




Zidane Headbutt : " Scarface, you take over. Remember, head for the chest. "

Riberty : " No problem bro! "




" please please, don pick on me ok .... oh God, don't ... please please .... "



Buffon : " Scarface ... easy ... easy .... you don't ok ... Scarface .... we have been friends since Primary school ok ... "



" You have to learn from Zidane!!! Your head is not as strong as his, that's why you cannot do the head butt like him!!! "



Henry : " yeah, should have listened to you ... not everyone can do head butts like Ziggy"




" I wonder if my head is good enough .. "



" I SWEAR to God I am going to KILL the mother @#!*@# after the match!!! "



" But I only used my head .... look how skinny my head is!!! Look !!! Look!!! "



" Barthez, the crowd seemed to like Zidane's head butt better than the World Cup, you think we ought to change careers too? "

Meanwhile at the Grand Stand ...


Bill : " This sexy mama reminds me of Monica ... "



President Chirac : " DON'T try and be funny with me, I can pin you down in front of the cameras if I want to ... "



Materazzi : " hey! Where is my cheque!!!??? I fell as I was told!!!

Referee : " Noooo .... I told you to roll once you are down but you didn't!!! "




Zidane Headbutt : " Make me drink so much water ... now must pee in front of so many people ... but this pole is so cooling and smooth, I think I will bring the goal post home to my bed .... who needs a wife when you have the smooth goal post ... ooooo ... ahhhhhh ...... "



Football Commentator : " WHAT is he doing??!! "




" wooooo ... baby ... this is good ... this is really good ... phew! this is the best way to exit from the World Cup .... in front of 1.5 billion viewers. "

The End