The Plastic Surgery

Plastic surgery is like a shopping centre undergoing retrofitting, all the digging, sawing and drilling are happening outside but there is a sign that says it's business as usual on the inside. If you have been away for some time, you wouldn't recognise the new building when it is done. The same with people, you have to convince your kindergarden friends it's the same you after the operation, and your European looking face and coloured eyeballs is due to the constant bleaching while swimming in the chlorine infected pool without goggles.

The most difficult part after the plastic surgery is having people show you the school year books and having the proof that you modified your looks. You then have to make countless explaination why you look a little different when you were younger. "oh you see, my grandmother was Greek and there were some cross breeding with my Tibetan grandfather who is from my mother's side and I was a full time Chinese until 16 years old .... "

(A friend send me a picture after reading my draft, she says it is quite relevant to the swimming pool eyeball chlorine thing. Don't really understand what she meant ... but here's the photo anyway)





















The bust is a popular department for plastic surgery. Most would do it to cure out of shape breasts. I get this feeling that most do it not for themselves, but for the general public, in particular .... men. It's men's obsession with cleavages that drove these normal women to go under the knife. I have to tell you women not to waste your time, men are all always searching and curious about the unknown and the half hidden. If hairy legs are always covered instead of the breasts since the beginning of fashion, I think most men would find gorillas sexy and today's wrestling would be considered porn.

Plastic surgery is for people who don't mind looking like dolls after that. That's why it's called 'plastic'surgery, and not meat surgery or parts removal service. I always thought plastic surgery is appropriate for those whose appearance has been defective by birth or accident. But for most patients now, its either they have been extremely miserable about the way they look, or they have been using the wrong brand of cosmetics and not very good at drawing on their own face.

For me, the closest thing to plastic surgery is shaving. There's also knife and blood involved here and I am getting rid of the unwanted parts. Occasionally there's hair in the nostrils, but it's a different set of operation and procedure altogether. I sometimes do think about keeping the shavings and the extra hair ... you will never know when hair in the sink can be used to grow hair at the top of the head.

But I think I might need plastic surgery for my feet, they are too broad and won't fit into my leather shoes. You know how frustrating it is when the salesgirl tells you " oh the shoes will expand after a while, so you don't have to worry about the pain." Some will tell you it'll feel better after it is 'seasoned'. Excuse me, I don't need any more sauces on my shoes ok ..