The Silent Talker

As long as we are on the subject of talking, I might as well continue with this new phenomenon that I recently discover in the centre.

We are all quite familiar with our legendary fast talker, yes the one with four Pentiums in the head ..... or is it three? Anyway, I recently found one parent who is quite the opposite. This one is not just slow, he is low. Slow and low, how torturing can that be? I can assure you if you listen to this man talk, you can either fall asleep standing or your eardrums will suffer from bloodclots. You have to strain yourself so hard you can almost pee in your pants! I can hardly hear a word he says and he just sitting 2 metres away from me. Its a good thing my primary school extra- curriculum activity was lip reading, otherwise half the time you only see his mouth moving without anything audible.

I have been wondering why some people talk fast and some talk slow. Why some are loud and some are soft? Is one better than the other? Does the fast talker think faster and thats why talk fast? Technically speaking, yes. In order to talk fast, you have to think fast. But it can also mean you talk without thinking and everything comes out without filtering. So when you talk fast without thinking, you can double up faster in your speech because you skip one process in the brain, and so the brain can have more power in the speech department. Its like diarrhea, you don't have time to think, everything comes out all at once without filtering. And by the time you react, its all over the seat cover.

But you will never want to get into an argument with the fast talker, and even if you have to, bring a tape recorder to tape, rewind and replay. Cos the fast talker will talk so fast that you won't know what hit you! Its like having a zip file sent to you all the time. Every sentence feels like mulitple words stacked on top of one another, so compressed and so fast. And before you know it, she can scold your mother, father, cousins, 3rd uncle, 5th aunty and grandmother's neighbour in one sentence!

With the slow talker, he is taking his time to think before he gets ready to open his mouth. But it can also mean he is at Pentium Minus One, the speed at which he processes his speech is not as fast. For these group of people, they only suffer when they have to argue or work as a telephone operator. But on the other hand they would thrive as a hynotist. And they suppose to make more sense 'cos they take their time to process and execute their perfect sentence. The low talker on the other hand has a major problem, I think. People who talk soft and low are generally lacking in confidence. They can only have one audience, which is themselves.

This particular low talking parent is a really nice dude. He would sit for hours just to wait for his daughter finish her classes. And he has this little curvy moustache which camouflages his mouth. But I cannot stand it when he tries to strike up a conversation. Its really a pain in the *@# to try and catch every word he says, because as soon as the sentence leaves his mouth, they get sucked back in. It's like having a Blackhole at the back of his throat. Most of time I get entertained by his dancing moustache instead.

There's another category of talkers which I think most are familiar with, and we are so used to them here that we forget such people actually sound funny elsewhere in the world. I call them the Echo Talker. I can almost guarantee that if you think hard, at least one of your friends, relatives or colleagues talks this way. This is how they sound :

" Can you hand this book to my son? "

" Ya sure."

" ok thankyou, thankyou, thankyou " (usually spoken at triple fast mode)

OR

" Are you sure you did this? "

" Yes, really really really" (also spoken at triple fast mode)

Can you imagine a Chinese businessman shaking his customer's hands and really thanking him profusely? Got it? This is echo effect. And three thankyou(s) is better than one. Three Really(s) are more convincing than one. The above phenomenon is the result of people trying to think and translate in both Chinese and English. Till this day I am still trying to find an American giving me the echo effect. Of course you won't find any.